Monday, April 19, 2010


So, despite a wonderful evening with my lovely ladies which involved much laughter and an almost-concussion, I am still down. I'm not depressed. I'm not even really upset about anything. I'm just empty inside. It's like I'm floating in the vast emptiness of space. Nothing to look forward to but the black abyss.

I kind of always get this way at the end of the year. Despite my love for Ithaca and everything here, I just want it to be over, although I simultaneously wish college life would last forever. I don't want to go into the real world, I just want summer. Although summer will inevitably bring seemingly endless hours at Burger King, made brighter by 3 things. 1.) OL-ing this summer for about a month. Thank god.

On that note, Aaron the RD happened across me today in the stairwell and said "Christina! I didn't know you were going to be an OL!"

Me: (Inside me head) I didn't know you knew my name! *out loud* Yup! I am!

Aaron: I'm your supervisor this summer!

Me: Really? That's awesome!

Aaron: This summer is going to be so much fun!

But I digress. Aaron is nice and this OL-ing should be fun. Anyway, numero due: The Ren Fest. We went last year, are going this year and I'm super excited to don my corset once more. And eat turkey legs. And watch the joust. Oh yeah, it's gonna be awesome.

And probably the best part. Me+Tickets to Phantom in Cleveland=Ultimate summer. Oh yeah. That's right. I'm going to see it again. Since this is the last time I'll be able to see the tour, it is especially important that I be there. So yeah, showing my undying love for the original while still despising the sequel will be a big part of summer.

Other than that, I'm down on myself for plenty of things: My lack of confidence, coolness and beauty. Don't get me wrong. I'm passable, pretty wise. I don't turn heads though. I'm not the kind of girl guys work up courage to talk to. I'm shy and easy to overlook. But what can I do? The answer: I simply exist. That's really all I can do. I don't feel like I have a point or purpose. Blech. I hate these kinds of days.

Currently listening to "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt, because the last lines seem fitting for my situation right now.

No comments:

Post a Comment