Tuesday, April 27, 2010

I loathe myself for admitting this

I am disappointed in myself. Severely. Like so mad that I disgust myself.

Why these extreme feelings?


I have a song from Love Never Dies, the accursed Phantom of the Opera sequel that is rearing it's ugly face at the Adelphi Theatre at this very moment, stuck in my head. Unacceptable.

Granted, when Till I Hear You Sing came out, I had that song stuck in my head. Because really, it is beautiful. It is something the Phantom would sing, in theory, although I find the less than stellar lyrics to be somewhat of a disappointment. It's like, its supposed to be the Phantom singing, but I don't feel that it is... If that song is supposed to be the Music of the Night (arguably one of the BEST songs in The Phantom of the Opera), I shudder to think about the rest of the music.

Though think about it I have. I have listened to the vast majority of the soundtrack, or at least what I could scrounge up from the internet. There's no way in hell ALW will be getting my money from LND. He will however, still be making money, as I frequent the original with some regularity nowadays, so those who say ALW doesn't need my money, you're right, but he's getting it anyway so stop complaining because I don't like your little show. Sorry, pent up rage from all the nasty comments I get on youtube saying I'm a non-fan. Right. Me, with the Phantom tattoo and about 57 different versions of Phantom on my ipod. Right. You got me guys. I'm a fraud.

Alright, so the point of this blog is that the song I have stuck in my head is absolutely atrocious. I mean, the music is actually really pretty, but this particular song develops one of the plot points I find most atrocious: that Gustave is Erik's (The Phantom's) son. This particular song is called Beneath a Moonless Sky, and is the song where Christine and the Phantom first encounter each other after ten years. They recount their passion filled night (coincidentally, it is the night before Christine gets married, so yeah, she's turned into a whore. Great characterization there) where the Phantom admits that after they shagged for hours on end (the lyrics are "again and then again", implying multiple times. Ugh) the Phantom feels guilty about screwing her (because he feels his monstrous face isn't worthy of her), so he leaves because he thinks Christine will regret having sex with a monster.

Yeah dude, because she SOUGHT you out, had sex with you and was going to admit her love (she didn't think to say "I love you" in the throes of passion? WTF is WRONG with these people!?!?!?) and you threw it all away because of your god damn face. Which she already said she was totally over in the original ("This haunted face holds no horror for me now" DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER YOUR ORIGINAL ALW????)

So, things I hate about this song:
The fact that Christine was able to find the Phantom
The fact that they had sex and she didn't even see his face. Like "yeah, we could have been together if I didn't have to look at you" is the implication I get from that
The fact that they had sex
The fact that the Phantom leaves
The fact that Christine, knowing she doesn't (apparently) love Raoul that much, goes and marries him anyway, which apparently introduces the plot point of him becoming an unsatisfied drunk
The fact that them having sex 10 years ago seems to justify the fact that her 10 year old son is the Phantoms- if this took place the night before her wedding, I am guessing Raoul got a little action too, since that's what people do on their wedding nights, so the kid could easily be Raoul's
The fact that The Phantom fucking leaves. God, like after all that love and devotion, he doubts she loves him now, after she chose him TWICE!? (She chose to stay in the original, but he let her go so she could live a happy life with Raoul- the true ending to the ghost's love story). SO OUT OF CHARACTER IT ISN'T EVEN FUNNY.
I also hate the lyrics "I stole to your side to tell you I must go" WTF, she went to tell him she was leaving, again, to marry Raoul. Way to rub salt in the wounds bitch.

On that note though, the lyrics have been changed to "I stole to your side, tormented by my choice" which actually makes sense in the context of both the song and craptastic musical.

Enough with the negativity, things I like about the song
The instrumental part in the beginning. No matter how much I loathe ALW at the moment, the man can write melodies, though he rips many off from his other shows and other people's works without crediting them. But that's beside the point.
The staging is actually cool for this part, from what I've seen on youtube. They kind of circle each other and there's all this sexual tension as they relive their passionate one night of heaven blah blah blah but they never actually touch in the scene. Except when Christine slaps the Phantom. Which he totally deserves.
And honestly, the part of me that knows and truly believes the Phantom and Christine belong together is rejoicing in my heart, because although the rest of the story is a clusterfuck, for that time they got to truly be with the one they loved. Which is beautiful and sad at the same time, because it never happens again. Because Christine dies. In a stupid way.

So yeah, sorry it's so long, just had to comment on one part of the show that isn't completely unbearable in some ways, though I would just be happier if this whole sequel business had never even started.

I would say enjoy, but perhaps I'll stick with endure Beneath a Moonless Sky, sung by Ramin Karimloo and Sierra Boggess:

You may recognize the melody from the 2004 film. It is the song Journey to the Cemetery. FYI.

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